Being authentic, sincere, and honest can be challenging at times.  However, aim to be human but simultaneously realize that other forces exist at work.  It could just be fate or something more determined than that: destiny?  Challenges are always in the way for a reason.

Finding out why might take a lifetime, but it is ultimately worth it.  Live life without regrets.  Please find a way to do it right.  The first time.  Seek out the help of others to learn whatever it is to overcome personal trials.